jake the great

because my husband is so wonderful, i'm going to share with you a speech i wrote about him. ignore the poor writing; the point here is that he is an amazing man. of course for the speech i may have exaggerated enhanced a few things. but the story is pretty accurate. enjoy :)

My best friend is my sweet husband Jake. I promise this won’t be a sappy love story; Jake really is my inspiration. From the night we met, he has changed my life.

            When I walked into Village Tavern on January 8, 2011, all I was thinking about was enjoying a night out with my girlfriends. Little did I know, I had been spotted. About an hour later, as our friends were shamelessly flirting with each other, Jake and I struck up a conversation.

            We all ended up going to Green Street in downtown Greensboro later that night. When we got to the door, we were informed that it was Latino Night. We were the only six white people there. Throughout the night Jake would show up at convenient times to save me from unwanted dance partners. He would just stand there, and the floor around me would clear out. That’s when I fell in love.

            On our first real date, I was so excited, I was literally bouncing up and down in the seat of the car. But I looked over and noticed that Jake wasn’t smiling. I asked him, “Are you not happy?” He wondered why I was asking. “Because you’re not smiling.” And with a straight face he looked at me and said, “This is my happy face.”

            The more I got to know Jake, the more impressed I was with this simple, unassuming man. Despite losing the (first) love of his life to heart disease at the tender age of 21, Jake still had the courage to fall in love again. When he proposed, Jake merely showed me the ring in an open box. Of course I told him I wouldn’t answer until he asked the question. But that’s just him – my man of very few words.

            Jake has shown me how special it can be to just be. The more I’ve been around him, the less I’ve felt the need to fill up every second with mindless chatter. Contentment doesn’t have to come from a life full of crazy excitement. I never thought I could be the kind of person who would say this, but: our modest life, in this beautiful place, is my dream.

            Though he loves sports, Jake stopped playing them halfway through high school so he could start working. Over the years he saved close to half of everything he earned. So when it came time for us to buy and renovate our home last March, Jake was able to make a substantial down payment. This means our house payment is less than anything we would have been able to find to rent. As someone who enjoyed instant gratification all of my adult life, this mindset has taught me so much. We now save 10% of everything we make, only use cash, and are able to live very comfortably on an income well below that of many of our peers.

            Before we got married, I lived with my parents. Translation: I never cooked. Jake, on the other hand, has lived alone, and has always worked with meat. As a new bride, of course I wanted to be the perfect wife. The first meal I prepared – or, ok, maybe the first few – the meat didn’t quite get cooked all the way. Though Jake likes sushi, he wasn’t impressed. But he never said anything. He would cautiously cut into the chicken or steak…or fish…or hamburger, and subtly check the color. If it was too pink, he would quietly take both our plates and finish cooking. I was always so embarrassed, and may have even shed a few tears. But after a few weeks of Jake’s patient and welcome help, I got better. One night about a month ago when he said “You need to give my mama this recipe,” I knew I had arrived!

            Jake has changed a lot too since we got married. In the past eight months, he has put on 50 pounds. Of muscle. He has been training to compete in powerlifting meets. I so admire his perseverance. Regardless of how he feels, Jake has never once missed a workout. I, on the other hand, have rarely kept up with working out.

            Jake has a quiet strength. He is truly my inspiration – not necessarily because of anything in particular that he does, but because of who he is, and the way he lives his life, every day. In every way, he will always be the sexiest man alive to me.

frugal fabulosity

so one of the reasons i started this blog (yes, there are reasons; i don't intend to bore you with the ins and outs of my daily life) is because i think i am somewhat different from other money-saving, intensely frugal bloggers in this: it is not in my nature to want to save money or be green or make my own things. it is in my nature to want to dress like i walked off a fashion runway, wearing high-end makeup and smelling of the best roses money can buy. we're not just talking i-want-to-wear-trendy-clothes. we're talking haute couture here. that is what i waaaaaaaant. bad. but more than anything else, i want to be an excellent wife and mother. so i am setting out to discover how i can look and feel as amazing as that ideal image of myself in my head, while saving major bucks and simplifying my life a bit.

you've probably noticed by now that i really like having my nails done. i don't necessarily enjoy the process of getting my nails done, but rather the end result of having them done. my first big girl job was selling gorgeous, very very nice jewelry. when i walk into a jewelry store, if your nails don't look good, i will not buy anything from you. to me, the way you look speaks of the jewelry. in a store with truly high quality jewelry, even the salespeople are proud of that (and the store probably makes enough to pay them enough to keep up their appearance), and that is reflected in the way they present themselves to their customers. but in general, i feel like i look so much more polished with my nails done -- even if i'm wearing sweats and no makeup. so today i want to share what i've come up with so far to keep my nails looking good without spending much money at all.

i have a lot of nail polish from back when $8-$10 per bottle was nothing to me (or so i thought), and several free bottles from couponing. so no need to spend money there. i prefer pink nails, on the paler side, which happens to be the type of color that doesn't show chips as badly -- thereby lengthening the life of your manicure. i have a few tools that the normal person may not have in their cabinet, but these are easily and cheaply found at sally's or somewhere like that. so here are the steps i take:

1. scrape feet with ped egg (follow their instructions). pretty disgusting, and sure, i'd rather someone else do this. but my labor is free for myself.
2. put a good lotion/cream all over feet (you can get special foot creams or just use the best stuff you have)
3. remove all existing polish -- use a q-tip to get around edges
4. push back cuticles
5. use a cuticle oil. put it on a cotton ball and rub around edges of nails. i usually follow up with a dry cotton ball to absorb excess moisture
6. buff nails (i use a file that has been used so much it won't file well anymore -- this could be bad advice, not sure; i also have one of those four sided thingies, so i use the sides in order until my nails aren't rough anymore, but aren't quite shiny yet)
7. trim nails (shorter nails get in the way less, meaning less likelihood to chip polish)
8. file nails
9.  use a base coat. for my fingernails, i use a clear strengthener polish
10. wait a few minutes, then paint the first coat of color (i usually paint my nails while watching tv. so i will paint a coat when the commercial break starts, then wait til the next commercial break to paint the next coat)
11. paint a second coat of color, and get some on the edge of the fingernail, the part that is perpendicular to the flat surface of the nail (this, to me, makes it look more like you got your nails done and less like you painted them yourself. you will get some on your skin unless you're really talented, but don't worry about that now)
12. paint a top coat
13. after a few minutes, take a q-tip dipped in polish remover and go around your nails on your skin. this will get off the polish from when you painted the edges. and if you're like me, you didn't paint inside the lines anywhere else either
14. do not do anything with your hands for AT LEAST an hour! (so maybe you should do this process when you're catching up on several shows at once)
15. i usually take a shower before i go anywhere. this helps to get any remaining polish off my skin (i'm really very bad at painting)

hope this has helped! also, i promise i will work on making my posts shorter. good night :)

use it up, wear it out, make do, or do without.

the big man (i think i might start calling my husband that. he is HUGE.) and i are of the rare breed who believe that you do NOT always have to have a car payment and house payment. GASP! i know. why would anyone in their right mind want to get out of debt and only answer to themselves and God regarding their money? soo weird. we currently do have both of those things, although one of our cars is paid for.

so here we were, chugging along, living comfortably below our means and paying more than the minimum on our smallest debt (my student loans. pure stupidity. that's a whole other story.), when one day it dawned on us -- we could still be doing MORE. so as of this weekend, we have begun re-evaluating our budget and what we see as "necessities". i think i will share our budget with you so you can see what we have come up with so far, and then i will go along and explain. first i'll share with you the catalyst for our new mindset: the family that lives on $14,000 a year. we figured if a family of four can live on that amount, a family of two has no reason not to be able to live on over double that. the difference? they have no debt. NONE.

one more thing before my big reveal. we do have an end goal for all of this. when we have children, we would love for me to be able to (at least part time) stay home with them (currently i am in the perfect place to be able to do that -- so if you know us personally and we haven't explained before, this is why i'm not really looking to change my work situation; we are praying for God's timing on a baby, and we don't know if that will be five years from now or nine months from now. anyway). we are not making a judgment on other people who choose to do otherwise. this is just important to us. we know ahead of time that our lives will not look like the lives of our friends who both work and have children. but we are ok with that. and we are going to do all we can in the meantime to set ourselves up for success. warning: this budget may seem extreme to some. it may seem like we are too strict, or not strict enough. your suggestions are most definitely welcome! especially if you have had experience with something similar. if not...still feel free to suggest, but just know we have thoroughly discussed and practiced (most of) this. without further ado...

1-tithe: 10% it's commanded in the Bible, so if you are a follower of the Bible, this is set in stone. period.

2-house payment: $440

3-emergency fund: 5% this goes into our liquid savings account. after putting the down payment on the house, that account has shrunk pretty significantly :/ but we are working to build it back up

4-i.r.a.: 5% regardless of how you choose to invest...this is how we do it. you'll notice that this plus the emergency fund allotment equal 10%. our basic budget is 10-10-80. 10% tithe, 10% savings, 80% everything else. it was important to us to start investing whatever small amount we can now, while we are young.

5-electricity: $95 we are actually looking into duke power's equal monthly payment plan so we can more easily budget for this. for those of you who don't know (as i didn't until like last week), this bill is higher in summer and winter and lower in spring and fall

6-water & trash: $55

7-cell phones: $81 as i think i've mentioned before, we both have no contract plans. jake's covers everything he wants/needs. i actually have unlimited talk, text, data, on an android phone, for $45/mth. i was very wary of things like this before i tried it...now i think we'd be crazy to do it any other way. we are thinking about dropping mine to a limited plan though, just to free up a few extra dollars every month

8-cable/internet: $92 ugh ugh ugh. we are trying to figure out how to get basic cable and internet, or even just internet somewhere else and do netflix or something. but time warner cable must know that and therefore not pick up when we've been on hold for.ev.er. so this amount will be dropping soon. hopefully.

9-car payment: $260 the bill is for like $250 something but we round it up. makes us feel like we are making headway. don't really know if that's accurate or not, but we do it.

   --taylor health insurance: $120 my husband works for the state. for me to be on his insurance would cost $600/mth. so we buy the super duper saver version from blue cross blue shield. thankfully i'm pretty healthy. 

1-groceries $200 we use cash for this. i am about to embark on my first ever two-week's worth grocery shopping trip, in an effort to work my way up to once a month shopping. we will see how it goes.

1-couponing $20 if you've been paying attention to previous blog posts you will notice this is a little different. i used to buy groceries, then whatever i had leftover i would use to coupon, and put any overage on the debit card. well, we can't truly afford it if we don't have cash for it, now can we? so we adjusted some things and gave me this couponing budget. before we made this adjustment i did one last of those old coupon runs, and i will use it as an example to show you how this amount will really go further. i went to rite aid and bought $20 worth of face cream. i got $20 back in their +up rewards. so essentially the face cream was free, and i still have $20 to spend (albeit only at rite aid). so $20 will buy more than just $20 worth of products. this also limits me, though, so i don't get all excited over a deal and buy a million of something.

1-gas - taylor $120 this is a new amount for us. it will mean me being very deliberate about when and where i drive. if i want to go visit my mother in law at the bank, i will walk. no big deal (nbd? i guess that's how you say it now). i am in school in dobson this semester so we will have to supplement this amount a little. but other than that...i work part time, and with this new grocery shopping plan, i really don't need to go much of anywhere.

1-gas - jake $40 he has to make this last a whole month. just kidding. he gets reimbursed for his gas for work; he just has to drive to and from wilkesboro without reimbursement. this will be our first time trying giving him a specific amount so we will see how it goes.

1-savings (this will be life insurance allocation when we get it): $76 self-explanatory. we wanted to go ahead and work the life insurance amount into the budget so we wouldn't go into shock and think the world would end when the time came to start paying that. so in the meantime we are just building up our savings a little more

1- home improvement: anything over regular amount weird wording. i copied and pasted this from our actual budget document, but didn't want to share exactly how much we bring home. if you're math-y, by all means, figure it out. i just thought it would be tacky to advertise. anyway. home improvement money comes from any amount jake brings home above what we have budgeted for. sorry dave ramsey, it may be a little too generic. oh well.

  -student loans $365 eek. this is the really embarrassing part. so here's the deal. my parents said "x is what we are willing/able to pay for your college. do with it what you will." which would have been great had i been a normal person. but instead i decided i had to go to private colleges. i live in a very rural area. my degree is in biblical studies. many foolish decisions along the way. but no need to dwell on what i could have done differently. the fact is, they're there, and i will pay them off. yes, i said i. because i do not think it would be anywhere near fair for jake to work his butt off, especially if we have kids and i stay home with them, in order to pay for my education that i am not using. this is why i will not be fully staying at home with our kids. this, by the way, is way over the minimum payments; this is the total amount we are putting towards them to pay them down. as we free up money in other areas, we can make this amount higher, in order to pay them off quicker.

4-yoga $20 this is the average amount it will cost me. my yoga class is once a week, but every few weeks jake and i have a commitment, so i can't go every week. by the way, if you live near elkin, nc, and are interested, contact me. my sweet hippie friend who knows everything about green and homemade teaches it, and kindly puts up with my never-ending questions about the aforementioned topics.

5-beauty $20 ($10 auto draft birchbox) this basically is enough for me to get my hair trimmed every other month. i'm planning on birchbox (and maybe some couponing) to cover makeup and hair products, etc. there is no nail money figured in here...very sad. but maybe my sweet husband will surprise me every now and then ;)

6-gifts $20 this is a tough one. we have basically decided that no gift we buy will go over $20, so that covers birthdays for us and our family and all that. i think this will work out fine. the problem will be christmas. so this may have to change. in general i do try to stock up on some gift items whenever i can, and couponing stockpiles are great for this too. if you're either of my brothers reading this, just know we can't spoil you anymore :) ha.

7-eating out $30 woah! this is crazy! i know. this basically allows for a few options. we can save it up and eat a nice (ish) dinner out once a month. or a semi-nice dinner out twice a month. or fast food every week. the goal here is to stop us from running to bojangle's or theo's just because i didn't feel like cooking. part of my new grocery plan is meal planning for the entire month. we could totally rearrange some things and afford applebee's or whatever every week. but we're choosing not to; it is more important to us to get out of debt (some people use this word to refer only to "consumer debt", which we have none of. we use it to refer to any money we owe anyone, at all). i have noticed several frugal tips-y places suggesting to cut out eating out altogether. now THAT is crazy. sure $30/month would go a long way to helping us get out of debt faster. but eating out can be something we look forward to now, like a treat. and for my sanity, with the new tighter gas budget, i will need to just get out some.

8-entertainment $20 we realized we weren't really using what we used to budget for this. we rarely go to the movies. occasionally we go to a little downtown pub with our friends. we figured we go "out" (to either one of those places) about once a month. and this amount easily covers that.

9-weightlifting $20 our basement rivals gold's gym, or wherever you may go. this category is a bit misleading. but it basically goes toward protein powder, or any other equipment/accessories (too girly of a word?) jake may feel the need to buy. if you know anything about this, you know that cheap protein powder is like $20 and will last for two weeks. so this is not intended to keep him fully loaded on the stuff. for goodness' sake, that's why i have 7 dozen eggs in my fridge right now. it just so works out that we get equal amounts for our exercising desires.

1-car insurance (deposit into savings) $80 we do pay this annually - saving us money - but it still needs to be budgeted for.

ook, so all of that was way personal. sorry if that offends anyone? as i've been reading other people's blogs about frugality, i've noticed that none of them write out a sample budget, like their own, to show how it can be done. so i figured hey, why not? hope this has been helpful, and i truly would love to hear your suggestions or questions.

aas always, sorry for the long post. and as always, thanks for reading :) love.