the post I didn't want to write

I haven't given an update on our fostering process in a while, and a few people have asked about it since The Call, so I figured I might as well let you all in on what's going on. I've been avoiding that.

If you'll recall (or not), we got fingerprinted in July, as part of the requirements for our licensing paperwork (Jake had actually been fingerprinted a couple of months prior, something to do with his security clearance for work). Notoriously that is a long part of the process. Then, we were informed
we forgot a particular piece of paperwork - which we "forgot" because the sheriff's department said we didn't need it. Anyway, we signed the paper, sent it in, and knew it would basically start the fingerprint processing over. That's among other things, of course. Our agency merged and we were caught in the middle. Our trainer suddenly and unexpectedly quit, leaving someone else all of her work. So now you're caught up. Until last week.

I emailed our new contact to check on the status of our fingerprints. We've been waiting on their clearance so she can send in our licensing info to Raleigh, and then we would have a 4-8 week turnaround before being licensed. So I emailed, and she called me back. Said she didn't have good news. Apparently, the SBI has no record of Jake's fingerprints. At all. Not even from when he did them for work. Just...none. It could have been something as simple as the person at the sheriff's department never hitting "send". I didn't cry, I calmly told Jake what happened, our contact sent us all our paperwork thusfar so we could hopefully prove to the sheriff's department that he had been fingerprinted by them SIX months ago. He went the next day...and the sheriff's department has moved. Vacated their building, leaving no sign of their new location. (Jake has since located it, but REALLY, Wilkes county? You do nothing to help your reputation.)

Bottom line: fingerprint processing takes 6-8 weeks. Licensing processing takes another 4-8 weeks after that. We are looking at being licensed around April-ish.

We started this whole thing in May. So a year out of our lives? No time at all. We've just been thinking, every step of the way, that we were SO close. I've quit my job. We ourselves have fulfilled all the requirements, most of them by July. That stuff has to be redone every two years. We KNOW God has a reason for this...and we are beyond ready to see what it is. So, um, that's it. Don't cry for me, Argentina. Just wanted to keep everyone in the loop.

courtship and engagements continued (again)

Sorry for no post last week; Thanksgiving left me playing a bit of catch-up. Today I will just list a few excerpts that I think speak for themselves and, for the most part, don't even need any updating.

• "Good manners always dictate that men and women be restrained about public demonstrations of their physical feeling toward one another." p 13. Amen.
• "...modern young people...should remind themselves that the [dating period] is a trial flight which can easily end in a crash landing." p 14. Meaning: your whole life is not - and you shouldn't act like it is - wrapped up in this person until "I do".
• "Except under extraordinary circumstances, a formal engagement should not last more than six months and most are three months or less. And any man or woman who lets the engagement run into a matter of years for any reason whatsoever is not a good marriage risk..." p 14. I've mentioned before that today, weddings take a little longer to plan. Many venues book quickly, and the wedding industry in general is suggesting to allow at least a year for the planning process. For logistic reasons I see no problem with this. There are also the situations where one or both of the engaged persons is/are still in school (although...why not wait to get engaged?). My brother is in the Air Force and he and his fiance are living half a country apart, so it makes sense that their wedding would take a little more time to plan. That being said, it is very possible to have a beautiful, budget-friendly wedding in a short amount of time. As I've mentioned before, mine was planned and pulled off in under 5 months.
• "If more engagements were honestly viewed before marriages are entered into there would be far fewer divorces. A man or woman should never be made to feel that by virtue of the exchange of an engagement ring he or she is irrevocably committed to the appointed marriage." p 14. AMEN. Figure out whether or not you are "compatible" or "want the same things out of life" before promising to God and witnesses that this person is the one you have chosen with whom to spend the rest of your life. I've broken an engagement and I (and he) survived, much more easily than if we had endured an unsuccessful marriage.
• However. "This does not mean that an engagement should be lightly entered into or lightly broken." p 14. When I became engaged the first time, I genuinely thought he was and wanted him to be the man I pledged myself to forever. Over time, I began to see that there were issues which, left unresolved, could greatly impact a marriage negatively. It was a hard decision to break it off, and for years afterward I was emotionally broken. But I knew that once I married, divorce would never be an option; and at the time the engagement was broken, there was not an assurance of a successful marriage. 

Side note: I am certainly not perfect, and certainly don't know everything. I share my experiences to show (in these instances) that difficult or seemingly impossible situations can be taken on in order to prevent worse ones. I hope they help you, and if not, I hope you'll appreciate anyway that I've shared them with you.

And I hope you're enjoying the etiquette posts! This is a subject I love, and am enjoying learning more about. Have a great week!