update on our food savings

I feel like I write this post about once a month. The original post is here and the most recent one is here. But our budget is constantly evolving, and we are always finding new/different ways to save money. So here's how we're currently saving on with our grocery bill:

1. Amazon Subscribe & Save - I've mentioned this before. We're officially hooked. We get at least 5 items every month, so we get the 15% discount instead of just 5%. I get as many of our food items this way as possible, since the discount enables us to get organic things we wouldn't otherwise be able to find or afford. I also get some cleaning supplies (I know, I should just make my own, and I do some of them; but with me working so much right now, it's just easier this way) and household items like toilet paper. We get as much as absolutely possible (some things you have to buy in such bulk that we can't afford to do it, and some things they don't have, etc.), even things that would be about the same price in the store, because it gets delivered to our door. On the 5th of the month. And I don't have to go get it or carry it in and out of the car. It makes my life easier.

2. No. Processed. Foods. I can't reiterate this enough. The healthiest and cheapest way to shop in the grocery store is around the perimeter. My grocery list now consists of: frozen chicken, frozen tilapia, frozen shrimp, milk, soy milk, eggs, cheese, Italian ice (we all have our vices), sandwich thins or flatbread, deli meat cut at the counter, spinach, berries, bananas, another fruit (whatever's in season), and fresh flowers. Every single one of those things (except the bread) is located on the perimeter of the store. We do buy frozen pizzas, enough for one pizza night per week, but really that's only because I work some nights and have from 2:30-4 pm at home those days. I actually feel fancier shopping this way. By avoiding processed foods, we have more money to spend on fresh fruit and other healthy options. We buy the frozen chicken because it's cheaper, and if I had any option other than Food Lion, I could probably find hormone-free frozen chicken, and we would get that. Of course there are times we buy different things, like the other night when we wanted to do s'mores. But our regular, typical grocery list is exactly what I listed above. (Baking supplies, etc. I've been getting from Amazon.)

3. Shop less often. If you've been reading my blog you'll remember that I grocery shop once a month. Shopped once a month. I now go every two weeks. The idea is still the same: the less you shop, the fewer temptations you encounter while shopping. Since I really work hard to only shop the perimeter of the store, however, I don't see as many of the temptations that are down the aisles. And the reason I go more frequently now is to get the fresh things. So my first shopping trip of the month, I'll get all the frozen foods and things that will last the whole month. Halfway through the month, I'll just restock the fresh things that go bad more quickly. Spinach and deli meat last two weeks. As far as fruit, we'll eat berries first, then bananas, then things we have to peel (this last time it was the kiwi, then a pear, then pineapple). So far I have not completely run out of fruit by the end of the two weeks.

I hope this helps you when meal planning and grocery shopping. This latest method has enabled us to stay under $200 for a month's worth of food and household items, even with Jake doing powerlifting and eating about as much as two average men. Oh, and it's way healthier, too. Happy shopping!

Intro Training Session

We met with our training lady yesterday for the first time. We weren't really sure what to expect. Basically, she explained to us how the system works and the whole point of foster and adoptive parenting. The system's main goal is the reunification and strengthening of families. I think I've mentioned that I've heard people say, "I could never foster; it would be so hard to give those kids back." And I totally get that. But especially after the way she explained things yesterday, I just can't imagine not having the heart to fully participate in the system. Because all parents have struggles, and need extra help from time to time. It really does take a village to raise a child. And the system is part of that village - working with parents and children and foster families to strengthen the birth family and reunify them if at all possible. And if it's not possible, that's when adoptive families come in.

The lady (her name is Jennifer) then explained to us what our timeline looked like. Basically, 6 weeks from yesterday will be our last training session. It will take her about a month after that to finish our licensing paperwork (a 25-page document that tells the state of NC who we are) and send it in, then another couple of weeks for the license to come in the mail. So around September, if everything goes according to schedule, we should be officially licensed. After that, we just wait for her to get a call about children that fit the description of the ones we would be willing to take. The child(ren) might be in our home for 3 days, or 6 years, or forever.

Jennifer then walked through our home with us to point out anything we might want to change/fix/whatever before we get inspected. Our basement door has a deadbolt that locks with a key from inside, so we will have to get one of the regular deadbolts for that. We need about a bazillion of those clear thingies to plug in outlets. We have to move cleaning supplies and paint and anything toxic out of reach (duh). We will need some supplies so we can double lock medicines and vitamins, and guns and ammunition have to be in separate locked containers. And we need some more dressers. Kids have to each have their own bed, closet space, and dresser. We have one big dresser we were planning on them sharing while they're little, but Jennifer doesn't think that's allowed. So we are thinking of two nightstands with two or three drawers each, so they can fit in our small space, then as the kids grow and we split up the genders into separate bedrooms, those can be used as actual nightstands.

So now we have about 100 pages to read, 4 pages of questions to answer, and 5 thick packets of information to fill out. By Tuesday. Excuse us for having no social life for the next 6 weeks to 18 years!

on our to-do

Next week we will begin our training; so for now, I will just post what all we will be doing/needing/purchasing next. We have put the bunk beds together, so all beds are in the room. What next?

The biggest thing that still needs to be done is putting in a closet system of sorts. The closet in that bedroom covers all of one wall, with access on each end. In the middle section I want big shelves. One side of the closet will house the dresser/changing table. I still want a shelf up top and maybe one bar for hanging clothes. On the other side I want three bars for hanging clothes and a shelf up top. So we will need to purchase the materials and put that in. And by "we" I mean Jake and possibly our dads :)

Beyond that, we just have some purchases to make. Big things like a high chair and car seats for all ages. A few more cloth diapers. Cloth diaper accessories, like a pail and liner and something to hold the wipes that I will likely make. Plates and cups and utensils for kids and babies. Maybe a rug and wall decal for their room, since there is nothing kid-like about the decor. I'm not big on characters, but it don't want it to look completely adult. Clothes in various sizes. Toys...but I hesitate to say that. Of course I want toys, but I am so not into the plastic noise makers. I like wooden and old-fashioned.

And I think that's it! This is all I know to update you on for now, but as of next Wednesday we will be progressing even further in the process as far as the system goes. We can't wait!

where we are

Sorry for not posting lately, but Jake Henry and I took a little trip. It was weird and fun and scary realizing that it was likely our last (and only, not counting our honeymoon) trip by ourselves! We went to D.C. and it was amazing; neither of us had been since elementary school (to Jake that was up through 8th grade--weird!), so it was great to go as an adult who actually cares. Anyway. The point of this post is to let you know where we are in this whole fostering process.

We originally planned to foster through our county, but were introduced to a private agency, and we decided to go through them instead. We have sent in our application and it has been approved. We have a meeting set up at the end of this month to begin our training. That will take about 6 weeks. We will also be training to foster special needs children, so that may take a little longer. At some point we will also need a fire inspection and home study. I'm planning/hoping all of that can be done by mid-July, so the agency can send everything they need to in to Raleigh. And then we will get licensed! We had initially hoped to have a placement by Christmas, and now we know that is a definite possibility...although I think it would be kind of cool to have one by Jake Henry's birthday at the end of August. He always said he wanted to be a dad by the time he was 30. I feel like that's a stretch, but it would be cool :)

Because we will be busy once we begin training, we are trying to get the kids' room set up by the end of this month. We have a crib and it is assembled. We bought bunk beds and we're painting them. We have bedding. We need to put in a closet system. And we need clothes. I am trying to have three outfits per age, per gender, per season. So 3 summer outfits for a girl size 4T. Etc. We will get a clothing allowance for the kids, but we don't want to be totally unprepared. I hate the thought of a child being ripped from his home, dropped off with strangers, and rushing out to buy all new clothes. I want to be able to tell a child - with words and actions - "we've been waiting for you!" regardless of the child's age or gender or time of year. Three outfits should allow us at least 24-48 hours to just get to know the child, and let them become somewhat comfortable we us and our home, before we go buy them a wardrobe.

So that's where we are. Prepping like crazy to have a room and closet furnished for any child aged 0-6, any gender, by the end of the month. Whew :)

so what are we getting ourselves in to?

We have learned a lot about this process just in the past few weeks. The purpose of foster care is to reunite birth families. So all along the way, that will be our goal. If/when any of the children become available for adoption, that will tickle our socks off. But in the meantime, we are going to simply wake up every day and choose to love and care for our children as best we can for as long as they are with us (and really, isn't that what every parent does? No one is promised tomorrow, and parenting - in the home anyway - only lasts for about 18 years or so. The whole point of parenthood is to love them and teach them how to operate in this world).

We're requesting children ages 0-6. I'm 26, and we thought 20 years was a good amount of age difference. We are also requesting sibling groups. If we get a call for a 4- and 7-year-old brother and sister, we won't turn them down. We just didn't want calls for 17-year-olds when I'm closer to their age than to their parents'. As we get older, we'll raise our age limit.

We have elected to take additional training to become licensed for therapeutic foster care in addition to family (regular) foster care. This means we could get calls for special needs children. Having worked with special needs adults for the past 6 months, I don't know nearly enough about it, but I know enough to be absolutely in love with this population. And Jake is willing to learn :) Therapeutic could also mean behaviorally challenged kids, which is of course scary, but anyone who knows Jake could tell that he was made for this kind of parenting! He's big and scary looking but really he's a teddy bear. He doesn't yell; he just says something a certain way and you know he means it. Really, he doesn't hardly talk, so when he says anything you know he means it.

I have always wanted to be a stay-at-home mom. But I have student loans. Those are my responsibility, not Jake's. So until those are paid off, I need to have an income. BUT. If we get pre-school aged children, or special needs children, or 3 or more at a time, I will come home. I will keep my night class, but other than that, I will come home. Things will be tight. But that's where our faith and creativity come in :)

We will be putting a bunk bed (preferably with a trundle) and a crib in our 2nd bedroom. So yes, we could potentially have 4 children in one bedroom. Is that cruel? Heck no. Ever been to Europe, or a big city, or the U.S. 30 years ago? It happens. And it's ok. We have a sunroom that will become a playroom, so all they will be doing is sleeping in the bedroom. As the children we take in get older, we'll split up the genders and use the sunroom as a bedroom (the previous owner did this). Or we'll finish the basement. Or something. But as long as we have little kids, there's no reason they can't share a bedroom. And we may only have one at a time anyway.

So there are some random details about what we're getting in to. More to come...

"paper pregnant"

In looking for a way to announce our decision to our little world, I came across the term "paper pregnant". It usually refers to adoptive parents, who have their paperwork and are awaiting the arrival of their child. But I think it can apply to foster parents as well. And boy, am I paper pregnant!

It's no secret that we have wanted to be pregnant for a while. We may still get pregnant, or we may never. I have longed to feel the first pangs of morning sickness, to have swollen ankles and not be able to sleep comfortably, and of course the "glow" and attention and all of that (if you have never dealt with infertility, I really do not care to hear the first word about how I do NOT want those things. I don't care who you are. :)). But it is uncanny how similarly I feel to a woman who is physically expecting! I am scatterbrained, all I do at home is rearrange, and I am excited and nervous all at the same time. In five minutes I can go from picking out bedroom colors to wondering if I'm making the biggest mistake of my life. I want to get a placement tomorrow, but then I want tons more time to prepare my home. And obviously, we are in a waiting and preparation stage, just like any couple who is expecting.

Our budget will change; our lifestyle will change. Do I come home or keep working? And of course one thing that is very difficult for me is the breastmilk vs. formula issue. Had I had a biological baby, we would have been working our butts off to make breastfeeding work. Formula was my last option, even after a breastmilk bank. But with the possibility of a foster baby, it's all different. This is honestly such a difficult reality for me to be ok with! But you know what? If formula is the only option for feeding my baby, so be it. The baby will be getting fed. And that's just one of many decisions that pregnant women encounter that I have also struggled with.

So, we are paper pregnant. And we couldn't be happier. And we are so thrilled that our friends and family are supporting us in this. We can't wait until our baby/babies/toddler(s)/kid(s) get(s) here!

why foster?

Because God called us to. I could end this post here -- but I know there are people reading this who won't believe that. So I'll explain a little further.

We had talked about this possibility as being way in the future, and every time we mentioned it, we were only met with "that would be so hard, are you sure you can do it?" Now that we've decided to move forward sooner rather than later, the only response we've gotten is, "that's so exciting! You guys will be great at that!" Those responses are confirmation for us. There's a song on Christian radio and the guy is talking about all that's bad in the world. He says, "God, why don't You do something?" and God responds, "I did. I created you." While this song didn't play into our decision at all, I think it's perfect for this situation (and many others, obviously). If every person thought that fostering would be too hard, where would those kids end up? Jake and I have a home that is small by our culture's standards but huge compared to most of the rest of the world's. We have a strong, loving marriage. Our hearts want children. We have room and love enough to share. These kids need a safe home and loving family. That equation simply adds up. As Christians there are two specific groups of people we are called to care for in addition to the general "least of these" (any less fortunate): widows and orphans. Though foster children aren't technically orphans, they are, at this point in their lives, without parents. It just makes sense to us that this is something we could be called to do simply because we are Christians, but Jake and I definitely are called to do it because we are available. And God placed it on our hearts. And that right there is as much explanation as I can give.

Will we want to adopt them? Of course. Will we? If that becomes an option. What if it doesn't? We will provide for them a loving home for however long they are with us, and we will encourage their birth families along their journey toward rehabilitation. Does this mean we've "given up" on having "our own" babies? Absolutely not. Fostering and birthing are not mutually exclusive commitments. For all we know, we may never have biological children, or we may get three foster kids in our home and I get pregnant and all three of the others become available for adoption. And what then? Well, we'll have four kids! If God called us to do this (and He did), He will provide -- financially, physically, and emotionally.

That's about all I can think of to tell you. We would LOVE to hear and answer any questions you may have. So fire away :)

our grand new adventure

It's been suggested that I blog about our upcoming fostering and possibly adoption experiences. I thought I would begin a new blog that would focus solely on those subjects. But then I thought - why? It won't be a separate part of our life; it will be our whole life. And it will definitely affect our budget, my homemaking, my job, and expand our green-ness. So I think it will fit in perfectly fine right here.

For now, I will keep you updated with our progress toward licensure; later, of course, I will discuss the ins and outs of the system (as much as possible), our first-time parent mistakes and funnies, and much more. I'll try to keep it short and sweet.

A quick note before I go about one thing I mentioned above: I'm not quitting my job right now. But that might be necessary in the future. I'll go into that a little more in a later post. So, welcome aboard as we document this exciting new time in our lives!