It's no secret that we have wanted to be pregnant for a while. We may still get pregnant, or we may never. I have longed to feel the first pangs of morning sickness, to have swollen ankles and not be able to sleep comfortably, and of course the "glow" and attention and all of that (if you have never dealt with infertility, I really do not care to hear the first word about how I do NOT want those things. I don't care who you are. :)). But it is uncanny how similarly I feel to a woman who is physically expecting! I am scatterbrained, all I do at home is rearrange, and I am excited and nervous all at the same time. In five minutes I can go from picking out bedroom colors to wondering if I'm making the biggest mistake of my life. I want to get a placement tomorrow, but then I want tons more time to prepare my home. And obviously, we are in a waiting and preparation stage, just like any couple who is expecting.
Our budget will change; our lifestyle will change. Do I come home or keep working? And of course one thing that is very difficult for me is the breastmilk vs. formula issue. Had I had a biological baby, we would have been working our butts off to make breastfeeding work. Formula was my last option, even after a breastmilk bank. But with the possibility of a foster baby, it's all different. This is honestly such a difficult reality for me to be ok with! But you know what? If formula is the only option for feeding my baby, so be it. The baby will be getting fed. And that's just one of many decisions that pregnant women encounter that I have also struggled with.
So, we are paper pregnant. And we couldn't be happier. And we are so thrilled that our friends and family are supporting us in this. We can't wait until our baby/babies/toddler(s)/kid(s) get(s) here!
