introduction to etiquette: both my own and AV's

I am so beyond excited to begin a new series on etiquette. Anyone who knows me can attest this is right up my alley. As we enter the holiday season, I thought this would be as good a time as any to begin.

I am not nearly well-versed enough in the subject to consider myself anywhere close to being an expert. I will be reading, cover to cover, Amy Vanderbilt's New Complete Book of Etiquette: The Guide to Gracious Living (copyright most recently in 1963). Obviously, the book is old; so what I will do is summarize a section and then attempt to apply it to our modern lives. As for day-to-day etiquette, I strongly encourage you to peruse and subscribe to both the Daily Connoisseur and Annie Dean. These two women are considerably more knowledgeable than I, and do an excellent job at living out the principles of etiquette and social grace.

First, you may be wondering why I would desire to write on the subject of etiquette. I both crave and cultivate a beautiful life, and I think this is not only possible but necessary - regardless of one's station in life. I am appalled by the way my generation behaves themselves. Truly disgusted. "Women" show every body part they have, if not on the street, then through social media. "Men" think it is appropriate to honk their horns and whistle (although, to be fair, the women hands-down invite this attention). Most women my age seem to be on the lookout for their Prince Charming, yet they behave in such a way that no gentleman would want to introduce them to his mother. The women also put up with disrespectful treatment from men in the hopes that he will one day change his mind and decide to treat her the way she deserves. Ladies, he will not. The way a man treats you during courtship is the best he will treat you. He may (and should) continue that treatment beyond the wedding day, but giving you his last name will not turn him overnight into a knight in shining armor. Listen, I am totally aware we live in the 21st century and that everyone is both politically correct and "enlightened" in our modern society. That does not mean we can or should throw all etiquette out the window.

Now you may be thinking, who is she to tell me this? I am no one. No one in the eyes of this world, that is. I am firmly middle class American (which, by the way, is filthy rich when compared on an international level). My parents both grew up very poor. One of my grandmothers grew up as a share cropper - the next lowest standing to slavery. I was the first person in my family to go to college. I was almost a career military officer's wife (long story), but instead of being unhappily married in semi-high society, I chose to be happily married in the rural South. I have never been, am not now, nor will I or my children likely ever be high society. I wasn't born into it. So, you see, I am most certainly not qualified. But I am fascinated, and so desire for my generation to leave the crass in favor of what is classy.

So who will I look to? As I mentioned, the book on which I will be basing all of this was written by Amy Vanderbilt. In her introduction she says what applies to me and probably many of you: "Who needs a book of etiquette? Everyone does. The simplest family...needs to know at least the elementary rules."

So, let's begin, shall we?