Let me just talk about God's provision for a minute.
1. My pay checks are set up to be about 2 months behind; at the beginning of June I got paid for the work I did in April. Well, in March, we had so much bad weather, coupled with spring break for one of my classes, that I worked about half of my usual hours. I just knew that my May paycheck was going to be half of what I typically get. But guess what? It was maybe 10% less. And that was the month we had a lot to buy for the kids.
2. Just this afternoon I opened my mailbox and lo and behold, I had received a long-lost state tax refund from 2011.
So during this time in our lives, when we are spending a whole lot of money to prepare for kids who aren't our own and who might be with us for mere days, we have been given extra money. You may call that coincidence, but I do not.
Happy Thursday!
Thursday, June 12, 2014
Wednesday, June 4, 2014
the perceived value of stay-at-home parents
Our foster training meeting yesterday had to be cancelled at the last minute, so I figured I'd publish this post I've had written, just waiting on an appropriate time. Fair warning: this is a long one. But worth it, I think. Also, I am in no way trying to offend working parents. This is meant to DEfend stay-at-home moms.
Jake Henry and I have had several discussions, but especially recently, about one of us (me) staying home with our children. One of the things we've had to focus on is how very difficult it will be - mainly emotionally/mentally. It seems to me that it's almost a cultural thing, where we live, that about 0.1% of mothers stay home with their children. And I am not about to make a judgment call on that. But because of that fact, I won't have a group of other stay-at-home moms with whom to share play dates and the woes of stay-at-home parenting. It will pretty much literally be me and the kids, at home, all day. And that's gonna be hard.
Because of the lack of stay-at-home parents in this area, it's also going to be hard on Jake Henry. He hasn't really seen that whole situation play out, and doesn't know what to expect. He has never been around it. Around here, from what I can tell, moms and dads both work outside the home. By the time they have kids, grandma retires and watches the kids. And when those kids grow up and have their own kids, that's when mom retires and then watches her grandkids. That's the cycle. Which is really cool for a lot of families. What I grew up with, though, was my mom at home watching us. And it's what I've always wanted for my kids. Also, until my brother-in-law finishes dental school, my mother-in-law won't retire (and we live a distance from my parents). So that's not even an option for us. Both of Jake's grandmas are alive and well and actually pretty young (early 70s), but that's a lot to ask of them, especially as they're taking care of their aging husbands (and all women can imagine that an aging man is hard to take care of!). So our options right now would be daycare or me staying home. And me staying home is exponentially more preferable.
Stay-at-home parenting will be so hard financially, in addition to what I've already mentioned. We've all heard the news in NC about the teacher pay raise debate. Well Jake makes less than most teachers we know. And he sticks his hands in animal carcasses all day, every day. He deserves a pay raise (in addition to teachers!). But until that happens (and even if it does, let's face it), we will be living tightly. Granted, we are extremely wise with our money. No credit cards, no debt except the house (other than mine of student loans and a car, which are my responsibility and will come out of my money), rarely eating out, few processed foods, aware of our energy use, etc. etc. etc. But that is still not a lot of money to live on. So don't think we are just rolling in dough so I can stay home, and have a nanny, and get pedicures every week.
With all of that being said...I can so see how around here, people could tend to look at me and wonder what I would do all day other than watch soaps and eat bonbons. Well. I didn't realize until I got married how much of a job keeping a home is, in and of itself. Personally (don't you dare comment something snarky), I would tend to advocate for married women staying home from the workforce in general. Getting the knack of meal planning, grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, budgeting, etc., is hard. You are literally an event planner and coordinator, chef, maid, and accountant the moment you say "I do". I spent four years in college preparing for a future I am not living, and no time at all preparing to be a wife and mother. When we were first married, I worked full-time. When that company asked me to be so unethical I couldn't take it, we took a leap of faith and I worked only on the weekends, making about 30% of what I had before. We survived - and actually thrived - on our reduced income. And I had time to really get good at my primary job: that of a wife. I did have time for extras, like volunteering with a cause I believe in strongly, and joining a book club at the library. Having jumped from my parents' home to my husband's home, that time really allowed me to grow up a little and become more well-rounded. So when I think of staying at home, then adding children on top of that, I can imagine how difficult that will be! Time management will obviously be key.
And this brings me to my point: where is the respect for stay-at-home parenting? I would like to say (for those who don't already know) that it is not weird for parents to raise their own kids. It is not lazy. Someone's got to do it, so why not me? And as much as Jake Henry and I have prayed for kids...why in the world would we want to only see them a few hours a day? I'm sure many working moms reading this will say they don't want to be away from their kids that much, and I know that. We have had more time than we intended to prepare for kids and me coming home. And remember what I said earlier - we will be living on less than what a lot of people realize. With a lot of hard work, and planning, and preparation, it can be done. Oh, and both spouses have to be on board. So I get that it doesn't work out for everyone. But when it does work out (not luxuriously, but enough to get by), let's support those families. Seems to me they don't have a lot of people on their side.
I sincerely hope my rant has awakened people to the value of stay-at-home parents. Obviously, we are very conservative and typically advocate traditional gender roles. This is not about politics. It's about seeing someone else's choices, and appreciating and respecting them (and I think even you liberals go for that! ;) ) Just as I ache for my friends who miss their babies all day long while they're working and away from them, and I so admire how they get everything done, I hope working parents will look at stay-at-home parents and admire someone who can stay in a house with only kids all day and still manage to be sane(ish). And with that, I'll just end it here. :)
Jake Henry and I have had several discussions, but especially recently, about one of us (me) staying home with our children. One of the things we've had to focus on is how very difficult it will be - mainly emotionally/mentally. It seems to me that it's almost a cultural thing, where we live, that about 0.1% of mothers stay home with their children. And I am not about to make a judgment call on that. But because of that fact, I won't have a group of other stay-at-home moms with whom to share play dates and the woes of stay-at-home parenting. It will pretty much literally be me and the kids, at home, all day. And that's gonna be hard.
Because of the lack of stay-at-home parents in this area, it's also going to be hard on Jake Henry. He hasn't really seen that whole situation play out, and doesn't know what to expect. He has never been around it. Around here, from what I can tell, moms and dads both work outside the home. By the time they have kids, grandma retires and watches the kids. And when those kids grow up and have their own kids, that's when mom retires and then watches her grandkids. That's the cycle. Which is really cool for a lot of families. What I grew up with, though, was my mom at home watching us. And it's what I've always wanted for my kids. Also, until my brother-in-law finishes dental school, my mother-in-law won't retire (and we live a distance from my parents). So that's not even an option for us. Both of Jake's grandmas are alive and well and actually pretty young (early 70s), but that's a lot to ask of them, especially as they're taking care of their aging husbands (and all women can imagine that an aging man is hard to take care of!). So our options right now would be daycare or me staying home. And me staying home is exponentially more preferable.
Stay-at-home parenting will be so hard financially, in addition to what I've already mentioned. We've all heard the news in NC about the teacher pay raise debate. Well Jake makes less than most teachers we know. And he sticks his hands in animal carcasses all day, every day. He deserves a pay raise (in addition to teachers!). But until that happens (and even if it does, let's face it), we will be living tightly. Granted, we are extremely wise with our money. No credit cards, no debt except the house (other than mine of student loans and a car, which are my responsibility and will come out of my money), rarely eating out, few processed foods, aware of our energy use, etc. etc. etc. But that is still not a lot of money to live on. So don't think we are just rolling in dough so I can stay home, and have a nanny, and get pedicures every week.
With all of that being said...I can so see how around here, people could tend to look at me and wonder what I would do all day other than watch soaps and eat bonbons. Well. I didn't realize until I got married how much of a job keeping a home is, in and of itself. Personally (don't you dare comment something snarky), I would tend to advocate for married women staying home from the workforce in general. Getting the knack of meal planning, grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, budgeting, etc., is hard. You are literally an event planner and coordinator, chef, maid, and accountant the moment you say "I do". I spent four years in college preparing for a future I am not living, and no time at all preparing to be a wife and mother. When we were first married, I worked full-time. When that company asked me to be so unethical I couldn't take it, we took a leap of faith and I worked only on the weekends, making about 30% of what I had before. We survived - and actually thrived - on our reduced income. And I had time to really get good at my primary job: that of a wife. I did have time for extras, like volunteering with a cause I believe in strongly, and joining a book club at the library. Having jumped from my parents' home to my husband's home, that time really allowed me to grow up a little and become more well-rounded. So when I think of staying at home, then adding children on top of that, I can imagine how difficult that will be! Time management will obviously be key.
And this brings me to my point: where is the respect for stay-at-home parenting? I would like to say (for those who don't already know) that it is not weird for parents to raise their own kids. It is not lazy. Someone's got to do it, so why not me? And as much as Jake Henry and I have prayed for kids...why in the world would we want to only see them a few hours a day? I'm sure many working moms reading this will say they don't want to be away from their kids that much, and I know that. We have had more time than we intended to prepare for kids and me coming home. And remember what I said earlier - we will be living on less than what a lot of people realize. With a lot of hard work, and planning, and preparation, it can be done. Oh, and both spouses have to be on board. So I get that it doesn't work out for everyone. But when it does work out (not luxuriously, but enough to get by), let's support those families. Seems to me they don't have a lot of people on their side.
I sincerely hope my rant has awakened people to the value of stay-at-home parents. Obviously, we are very conservative and typically advocate traditional gender roles. This is not about politics. It's about seeing someone else's choices, and appreciating and respecting them (and I think even you liberals go for that! ;) ) Just as I ache for my friends who miss their babies all day long while they're working and away from them, and I so admire how they get everything done, I hope working parents will look at stay-at-home parents and admire someone who can stay in a house with only kids all day and still manage to be sane(ish). And with that, I'll just end it here. :)
Friday, May 30, 2014
update on our food savings
I feel like I write this post about once a month. The original post is here and the most recent one is here. But our budget is constantly evolving, and we are always finding new/different ways to save money. So here's how we're currently saving on with our grocery bill:
1. Amazon Subscribe & Save - I've mentioned this before. We're officially hooked. We get at least 5 items every month, so we get the 15% discount instead of just 5%. I get as many of our food items this way as possible, since the discount enables us to get organic things we wouldn't otherwise be able to find or afford. I also get some cleaning supplies (I know, I should just make my own, and I do some of them; but with me working so much right now, it's just easier this way) and household items like toilet paper. We get as much as absolutely possible (some things you have to buy in such bulk that we can't afford to do it, and some things they don't have, etc.), even things that would be about the same price in the store, because it gets delivered to our door. On the 5th of the month. And I don't have to go get it or carry it in and out of the car. It makes my life easier.
2. No. Processed. Foods. I can't reiterate this enough. The healthiest and cheapest way to shop in the grocery store is around the perimeter. My grocery list now consists of: frozen chicken, frozen tilapia, frozen shrimp, milk, soy milk, eggs, cheese, Italian ice (we all have our vices), sandwich thins or flatbread, deli meat cut at the counter, spinach, berries, bananas, another fruit (whatever's in season), and fresh flowers. Every single one of those things (except the bread) is located on the perimeter of the store. We do buy frozen pizzas, enough for one pizza night per week, but really that's only because I work some nights and have from 2:30-4 pm at home those days. I actually feel fancier shopping this way. By avoiding processed foods, we have more money to spend on fresh fruit and other healthy options. We buy the frozen chicken because it's cheaper, and if I had any option other than Food Lion, I could probably find hormone-free frozen chicken, and we would get that. Of course there are times we buy different things, like the other night when we wanted to do s'mores. But our regular, typical grocery list is exactly what I listed above. (Baking supplies, etc. I've been getting from Amazon.)
3. Shop less often. If you've been reading my blog you'll remember that I grocery shop once a month. Shopped once a month. I now go every two weeks. The idea is still the same: the less you shop, the fewer temptations you encounter while shopping. Since I really work hard to only shop the perimeter of the store, however, I don't see as many of the temptations that are down the aisles. And the reason I go more frequently now is to get the fresh things. So my first shopping trip of the month, I'll get all the frozen foods and things that will last the whole month. Halfway through the month, I'll just restock the fresh things that go bad more quickly. Spinach and deli meat last two weeks. As far as fruit, we'll eat berries first, then bananas, then things we have to peel (this last time it was the kiwi, then a pear, then pineapple). So far I have not completely run out of fruit by the end of the two weeks.
I hope this helps you when meal planning and grocery shopping. This latest method has enabled us to stay under $200 for a month's worth of food and household items, even with Jake doing powerlifting and eating about as much as two average men. Oh, and it's way healthier, too. Happy shopping!
1. Amazon Subscribe & Save - I've mentioned this before. We're officially hooked. We get at least 5 items every month, so we get the 15% discount instead of just 5%. I get as many of our food items this way as possible, since the discount enables us to get organic things we wouldn't otherwise be able to find or afford. I also get some cleaning supplies (I know, I should just make my own, and I do some of them; but with me working so much right now, it's just easier this way) and household items like toilet paper. We get as much as absolutely possible (some things you have to buy in such bulk that we can't afford to do it, and some things they don't have, etc.), even things that would be about the same price in the store, because it gets delivered to our door. On the 5th of the month. And I don't have to go get it or carry it in and out of the car. It makes my life easier.
2. No. Processed. Foods. I can't reiterate this enough. The healthiest and cheapest way to shop in the grocery store is around the perimeter. My grocery list now consists of: frozen chicken, frozen tilapia, frozen shrimp, milk, soy milk, eggs, cheese, Italian ice (we all have our vices), sandwich thins or flatbread, deli meat cut at the counter, spinach, berries, bananas, another fruit (whatever's in season), and fresh flowers. Every single one of those things (except the bread) is located on the perimeter of the store. We do buy frozen pizzas, enough for one pizza night per week, but really that's only because I work some nights and have from 2:30-4 pm at home those days. I actually feel fancier shopping this way. By avoiding processed foods, we have more money to spend on fresh fruit and other healthy options. We buy the frozen chicken because it's cheaper, and if I had any option other than Food Lion, I could probably find hormone-free frozen chicken, and we would get that. Of course there are times we buy different things, like the other night when we wanted to do s'mores. But our regular, typical grocery list is exactly what I listed above. (Baking supplies, etc. I've been getting from Amazon.)
3. Shop less often. If you've been reading my blog you'll remember that I grocery shop once a month. Shopped once a month. I now go every two weeks. The idea is still the same: the less you shop, the fewer temptations you encounter while shopping. Since I really work hard to only shop the perimeter of the store, however, I don't see as many of the temptations that are down the aisles. And the reason I go more frequently now is to get the fresh things. So my first shopping trip of the month, I'll get all the frozen foods and things that will last the whole month. Halfway through the month, I'll just restock the fresh things that go bad more quickly. Spinach and deli meat last two weeks. As far as fruit, we'll eat berries first, then bananas, then things we have to peel (this last time it was the kiwi, then a pear, then pineapple). So far I have not completely run out of fruit by the end of the two weeks.
I hope this helps you when meal planning and grocery shopping. This latest method has enabled us to stay under $200 for a month's worth of food and household items, even with Jake doing powerlifting and eating about as much as two average men. Oh, and it's way healthier, too. Happy shopping!
Thursday, May 29, 2014
Intro Training Session
We met with our training lady yesterday for the first time. We weren't really sure what to expect. Basically, she explained to us how the system works and the whole point of foster and adoptive parenting. The system's main goal is the reunification and strengthening of families. I think I've mentioned that I've heard people say, "I could never foster; it would be so hard to give those kids back." And I totally get that. But especially after the way she explained things yesterday, I just can't imagine not having the heart to fully participate in the system. Because all parents have struggles, and need extra help from time to time. It really does take a village to raise a child. And the system is part of that village - working with parents and children and foster families to strengthen the birth family and reunify them if at all possible. And if it's not possible, that's when adoptive families come in.
The lady (her name is Jennifer) then explained to us what our timeline looked like. Basically, 6 weeks from yesterday will be our last training session. It will take her about a month after that to finish our licensing paperwork (a 25-page document that tells the state of NC who we are) and send it in, then another couple of weeks for the license to come in the mail. So around September, if everything goes according to schedule, we should be officially licensed. After that, we just wait for her to get a call about children that fit the description of the ones we would be willing to take. The child(ren) might be in our home for 3 days, or 6 years, or forever.
Jennifer then walked through our home with us to point out anything we might want to change/fix/whatever before we get inspected. Our basement door has a deadbolt that locks with a key from inside, so we will have to get one of the regular deadbolts for that. We need about a bazillion of those clear thingies to plug in outlets. We have to move cleaning supplies and paint and anything toxic out of reach (duh). We will need some supplies so we can double lock medicines and vitamins, and guns and ammunition have to be in separate locked containers. And we need some more dressers. Kids have to each have their own bed, closet space, and dresser. We have one big dresser we were planning on them sharing while they're little, but Jennifer doesn't think that's allowed. So we are thinking of two nightstands with two or three drawers each, so they can fit in our small space, then as the kids grow and we split up the genders into separate bedrooms, those can be used as actual nightstands.
So now we have about 100 pages to read, 4 pages of questions to answer, and 5 thick packets of information to fill out. By Tuesday. Excuse us for having no social life for the next 6 weeks to 18 years!
The lady (her name is Jennifer) then explained to us what our timeline looked like. Basically, 6 weeks from yesterday will be our last training session. It will take her about a month after that to finish our licensing paperwork (a 25-page document that tells the state of NC who we are) and send it in, then another couple of weeks for the license to come in the mail. So around September, if everything goes according to schedule, we should be officially licensed. After that, we just wait for her to get a call about children that fit the description of the ones we would be willing to take. The child(ren) might be in our home for 3 days, or 6 years, or forever.
Jennifer then walked through our home with us to point out anything we might want to change/fix/whatever before we get inspected. Our basement door has a deadbolt that locks with a key from inside, so we will have to get one of the regular deadbolts for that. We need about a bazillion of those clear thingies to plug in outlets. We have to move cleaning supplies and paint and anything toxic out of reach (duh). We will need some supplies so we can double lock medicines and vitamins, and guns and ammunition have to be in separate locked containers. And we need some more dressers. Kids have to each have their own bed, closet space, and dresser. We have one big dresser we were planning on them sharing while they're little, but Jennifer doesn't think that's allowed. So we are thinking of two nightstands with two or three drawers each, so they can fit in our small space, then as the kids grow and we split up the genders into separate bedrooms, those can be used as actual nightstands.
So now we have about 100 pages to read, 4 pages of questions to answer, and 5 thick packets of information to fill out. By Tuesday. Excuse us for having no social life for the next 6 weeks to 18 years!
Monday, May 19, 2014
on our to-do
Next week we will begin our training; so for now, I will just post what all we will be doing/needing/purchasing next. We have put the bunk beds together, so all beds are in the room. What next?
The biggest thing that still needs to be done is putting in a closet system of sorts. The closet in that bedroom covers all of one wall, with access on each end. In the middle section I want big shelves. One side of the closet will house the dresser/changing table. I still want a shelf up top and maybe one bar for hanging clothes. On the other side I want three bars for hanging clothes and a shelf up top. So we will need to purchase the materials and put that in. And by "we" I mean Jake and possibly our dads :)
Beyond that, we just have some purchases to make. Big things like a high chair and car seats for all ages. A few more cloth diapers. Cloth diaper accessories, like a pail and liner and something to hold the wipes that I will likely make. Plates and cups and utensils for kids and babies. Maybe a rug and wall decal for their room, since there is nothing kid-like about the decor. I'm not big on characters, but it don't want it to look completely adult. Clothes in various sizes. Toys...but I hesitate to say that. Of course I want toys, but I am so not into the plastic noise makers. I like wooden and old-fashioned.
And I think that's it! This is all I know to update you on for now, but as of next Wednesday we will be progressing even further in the process as far as the system goes. We can't wait!
The biggest thing that still needs to be done is putting in a closet system of sorts. The closet in that bedroom covers all of one wall, with access on each end. In the middle section I want big shelves. One side of the closet will house the dresser/changing table. I still want a shelf up top and maybe one bar for hanging clothes. On the other side I want three bars for hanging clothes and a shelf up top. So we will need to purchase the materials and put that in. And by "we" I mean Jake and possibly our dads :)
Beyond that, we just have some purchases to make. Big things like a high chair and car seats for all ages. A few more cloth diapers. Cloth diaper accessories, like a pail and liner and something to hold the wipes that I will likely make. Plates and cups and utensils for kids and babies. Maybe a rug and wall decal for their room, since there is nothing kid-like about the decor. I'm not big on characters, but it don't want it to look completely adult. Clothes in various sizes. Toys...but I hesitate to say that. Of course I want toys, but I am so not into the plastic noise makers. I like wooden and old-fashioned.
And I think that's it! This is all I know to update you on for now, but as of next Wednesday we will be progressing even further in the process as far as the system goes. We can't wait!
Thursday, May 15, 2014
where we are
Sorry for not posting lately, but Jake Henry and I took a little trip. It was weird and fun and scary realizing that it was likely our last (and only, not counting our honeymoon) trip by ourselves! We went to D.C. and it was amazing; neither of us had been since elementary school (to Jake that was up through 8th grade--weird!), so it was great to go as an adult who actually cares. Anyway. The point of this post is to let you know where we are in this whole fostering process.
We originally planned to foster through our county, but were introduced to a private agency, and we decided to go through them instead. We have sent in our application and it has been approved. We have a meeting set up at the end of this month to begin our training. That will take about 6 weeks. We will also be training to foster special needs children, so that may take a little longer. At some point we will also need a fire inspection and home study. I'm planning/hoping all of that can be done by mid-July, so the agency can send everything they need to in to Raleigh. And then we will get licensed! We had initially hoped to have a placement by Christmas, and now we know that is a definite possibility...although I think it would be kind of cool to have one by Jake Henry's birthday at the end of August. He always said he wanted to be a dad by the time he was 30. I feel like that's a stretch, but it would be cool :)
Because we will be busy once we begin training, we are trying to get the kids' room set up by the end of this month. We have a crib and it is assembled. We bought bunk beds and we're painting them. We have bedding. We need to put in a closet system. And we need clothes. I am trying to have three outfits per age, per gender, per season. So 3 summer outfits for a girl size 4T. Etc. We will get a clothing allowance for the kids, but we don't want to be totally unprepared. I hate the thought of a child being ripped from his home, dropped off with strangers, and rushing out to buy all new clothes. I want to be able to tell a child - with words and actions - "we've been waiting for you!" regardless of the child's age or gender or time of year. Three outfits should allow us at least 24-48 hours to just get to know the child, and let them become somewhat comfortable we us and our home, before we go buy them a wardrobe.
So that's where we are. Prepping like crazy to have a room and closet furnished for any child aged 0-6, any gender, by the end of the month. Whew :)
We originally planned to foster through our county, but were introduced to a private agency, and we decided to go through them instead. We have sent in our application and it has been approved. We have a meeting set up at the end of this month to begin our training. That will take about 6 weeks. We will also be training to foster special needs children, so that may take a little longer. At some point we will also need a fire inspection and home study. I'm planning/hoping all of that can be done by mid-July, so the agency can send everything they need to in to Raleigh. And then we will get licensed! We had initially hoped to have a placement by Christmas, and now we know that is a definite possibility...although I think it would be kind of cool to have one by Jake Henry's birthday at the end of August. He always said he wanted to be a dad by the time he was 30. I feel like that's a stretch, but it would be cool :)
Because we will be busy once we begin training, we are trying to get the kids' room set up by the end of this month. We have a crib and it is assembled. We bought bunk beds and we're painting them. We have bedding. We need to put in a closet system. And we need clothes. I am trying to have three outfits per age, per gender, per season. So 3 summer outfits for a girl size 4T. Etc. We will get a clothing allowance for the kids, but we don't want to be totally unprepared. I hate the thought of a child being ripped from his home, dropped off with strangers, and rushing out to buy all new clothes. I want to be able to tell a child - with words and actions - "we've been waiting for you!" regardless of the child's age or gender or time of year. Three outfits should allow us at least 24-48 hours to just get to know the child, and let them become somewhat comfortable we us and our home, before we go buy them a wardrobe.
So that's where we are. Prepping like crazy to have a room and closet furnished for any child aged 0-6, any gender, by the end of the month. Whew :)
Wednesday, May 7, 2014
so what are we getting ourselves in to?
We have learned a lot about this process just in the past few weeks. The purpose of foster care is to reunite birth families. So all along the way, that will be our goal. If/when any of the children become available for adoption, that will tickle our socks off. But in the meantime, we are going to simply wake up every day and choose to love and care for our children as best we can for as long as they are with us (and really, isn't that what every parent does? No one is promised tomorrow, and parenting - in the home anyway - only lasts for about 18 years or so. The whole point of parenthood is to love them and teach them how to operate in this world).
We're requesting children ages 0-6. I'm 26, and we thought 20 years was a good amount of age difference. We are also requesting sibling groups. If we get a call for a 4- and 7-year-old brother and sister, we won't turn them down. We just didn't want calls for 17-year-olds when I'm closer to their age than to their parents'. As we get older, we'll raise our age limit.
We have elected to take additional training to become licensed for therapeutic foster care in addition to family (regular) foster care. This means we could get calls for special needs children. Having worked with special needs adults for the past 6 months, I don't know nearly enough about it, but I know enough to be absolutely in love with this population. And Jake is willing to learn :) Therapeutic could also mean behaviorally challenged kids, which is of course scary, but anyone who knows Jake could tell that he was made for this kind of parenting! He's big and scary looking but really he's a teddy bear. He doesn't yell; he just says something a certain way and you know he means it. Really, he doesn't hardly talk, so when he says anything you know he means it.
I have always wanted to be a stay-at-home mom. But I have student loans. Those are my responsibility, not Jake's. So until those are paid off, I need to have an income. BUT. If we get pre-school aged children, or special needs children, or 3 or more at a time, I will come home. I will keep my night class, but other than that, I will come home. Things will be tight. But that's where our faith and creativity come in :)
We will be putting a bunk bed (preferably with a trundle) and a crib in our 2nd bedroom. So yes, we could potentially have 4 children in one bedroom. Is that cruel? Heck no. Ever been to Europe, or a big city, or the U.S. 30 years ago? It happens. And it's ok. We have a sunroom that will become a playroom, so all they will be doing is sleeping in the bedroom. As the children we take in get older, we'll split up the genders and use the sunroom as a bedroom (the previous owner did this). Or we'll finish the basement. Or something. But as long as we have little kids, there's no reason they can't share a bedroom. And we may only have one at a time anyway.
So there are some random details about what we're getting in to. More to come...
We're requesting children ages 0-6. I'm 26, and we thought 20 years was a good amount of age difference. We are also requesting sibling groups. If we get a call for a 4- and 7-year-old brother and sister, we won't turn them down. We just didn't want calls for 17-year-olds when I'm closer to their age than to their parents'. As we get older, we'll raise our age limit.
We have elected to take additional training to become licensed for therapeutic foster care in addition to family (regular) foster care. This means we could get calls for special needs children. Having worked with special needs adults for the past 6 months, I don't know nearly enough about it, but I know enough to be absolutely in love with this population. And Jake is willing to learn :) Therapeutic could also mean behaviorally challenged kids, which is of course scary, but anyone who knows Jake could tell that he was made for this kind of parenting! He's big and scary looking but really he's a teddy bear. He doesn't yell; he just says something a certain way and you know he means it. Really, he doesn't hardly talk, so when he says anything you know he means it.
I have always wanted to be a stay-at-home mom. But I have student loans. Those are my responsibility, not Jake's. So until those are paid off, I need to have an income. BUT. If we get pre-school aged children, or special needs children, or 3 or more at a time, I will come home. I will keep my night class, but other than that, I will come home. Things will be tight. But that's where our faith and creativity come in :)
We will be putting a bunk bed (preferably with a trundle) and a crib in our 2nd bedroom. So yes, we could potentially have 4 children in one bedroom. Is that cruel? Heck no. Ever been to Europe, or a big city, or the U.S. 30 years ago? It happens. And it's ok. We have a sunroom that will become a playroom, so all they will be doing is sleeping in the bedroom. As the children we take in get older, we'll split up the genders and use the sunroom as a bedroom (the previous owner did this). Or we'll finish the basement. Or something. But as long as we have little kids, there's no reason they can't share a bedroom. And we may only have one at a time anyway.
So there are some random details about what we're getting in to. More to come...
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